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Pure Country Wisdom

Pure Country Wisdom

Never name a pig you plan to eat.

Country fences oughta' be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.

Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb. It's about how good you bounce.

Keep skunks and gossipers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

Trouble with a milk cow is...she won't stay milked.

Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

Meanness don't happen overnight.

To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.

Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal. It just ain't helpful.

Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

Two can live as cheap as one...if one don't eat.

Don't corner something meaner than you.

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar...if you're in to catchin' flies.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

Don't go drinkin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.

You can't unsay a cruel remark.

Every path has some puddles.

Don't wrestle with pigs. You'll get all muddy, and the pigs'll love it.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

The early bird gets the worm. But...the second mouse gets the cheese.

The Ten Commandments display was removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a durn good reason for the move. You can't post: Thou Shalt Not Steal Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery Thou Shall Not Lie in a building full of Lawyers and Politicians. It just don't make sense.


Simply Frogg Joke Pages Archives

If you need a good laugh, or want to become the life of the next party and need some new jokes to tell, 'cuz you don't know any, these pages have your name written all over them! You can't go wrong!

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