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Failed Valentine's Day Card Verses
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk...
but the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow...
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store...
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right...
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class...
especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished.
But now I'm fulfilled... SO MAKE ME A SANDWICH!
4. Through all the things that came to pass,
Our love has grown but so has your ass.
3. You're a honey and you're a cutie...
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty."
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny...
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister...
you should see the one I gave your sister.
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